Tag Archives: reflection

Why is it always her?..

I couldn’t even face her…
I never suspected her,
and when she came upon my sights {low echo sound}…

She Barrel
She hit me like a wall~

Barrel Revolver Smoke

[Smokey hollow chamber] a bullet through my heart

(I’m) humiliated.
a dangling puppet,
a fool.

Silhouette Tri

My body stood still.

 

3think

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Who Am I

This is not about me, actually it is but it’s also about the other guy.

Q: Tell me about the “Other Guy”: He is always listening, watching. You meet him in passing and sometimes get his attention, he’s not very nice.

About Jennifer: She invites herself over from time to time. I usually keep my distance because she likes to “fall”. She is in a dark place and that is where she is. She smokes and likes to break up.
I don’t get lonely or bored really. I usually get tired doing repetitive tasks that become routine.

There is a part that I envy and…I wouldn’t say dismiss, it’s just that I find him pompous and arrogant yet I admire his discipline, his structure. I call him Josh, he likes perfection.

Blue likes to play and entertain. S/He is new and setting well.

Red is brave and energetic. She also has a temper that keeps mine in check. I keep her around because she is calculating and manipulative.

Then there is “Where was I?..” or We/I. He is in the center most people meet him. I am also moody.

It’s not the same. It’s the fall that we like. The fall is a feeling of exhilaration but you also do it for the drop, the release. Feeling the acceleration and your weight drop, which lasts about 15 seconds then you’re free…

Log Entry: July 8, 2013

Hello fellow WordPressers. I’ve had a dry run for the past few months recently. Usually I post up about the Miami Heat kicking butt in the NBA or some new DnB mix that you need to listen too. But as of lately, as in the past year and a half to two years, I have been changing jobs, finishing, school and relocating.

Funny thing about all this is that as I have “accomplished’ each thing/phase in life, I figured I would enter into a different “stage” of my life, be it a new/real career, steady girlfriend, a decent living place with reasonable furnishings and some hobbies that would take up some of my free time.

But the truth is, there is no job/career, no girlfriend, no decent living area, no brag-worthy hobbies. The truth is, the real truth is that there is NO next level. There is no next level because life does not exist in levels.

Make no mistake…this is not some grand epiphany.

This is simply an understanding I have come to revisit time and time again. I continue to revisit because     I stray away…over and over again.

Why?

Because wtf else am I sopost to do? Granted whatever I have been doing with my life, up till now, is completely misguided. What ever ridiculous beliefs I may or may no have about life and/or society really do not matter.

What matters is…